Loneliness.
is a half-drunk mug of coffee turned cold.
Loneliness is a handphone silent for 2 days.
Loneliness is a movie watched alone.
Loneliness is snuggling into the blanket in an aircon room with curtains closed but staying awake all night.
Loneliness is sitting on the window seat of a bus on a rainy day watching rain crawling down the glass.
and when you're lonely, listen to this song on your earphones, alone in an aircon room at night.
this song is too beautiful.
"Heartattack in a Layby"
I pull off the road
East of Baldock and Ashford
Feeling for my cell
In the light from the dashboard
Hissing from the road
The smell of rain in the air con
Maybe check the news
Or just put a tape on
Lighting up a smoke
I've got this feeling inside me
Don't feel too good
If I close my eyes
And fell asleep in this layby
Would it all subside
The fever pushing the day by
Motor window wind
I could do with some fresh air
Can't breathe too well
(She waits for me. Home waits for me.) {repeat in background}
I guess I should go now
She's waiting to make up
To tell me she's sorry
And how much she missed me
I guess I'm just burnt out
I really should slow down
I'm perfectly fine but I just need to lie down
We'll grow old together
We'll grow old together
We'll grow old together....
| Thoughts Became Words At 9:44 PM |
merci chocolate is really too nice.
if i died tomorrow burn some for me.
cheebyes
| Thoughts Became Words At 4:48 PM |
yo ppl... listening to some of teresa teng's jap songs lately... damn nice... some damn sad... especially Wo Zhi Zai Hu Ni... altho the jap ver not as nice as chinese one but still damn sad...
maybe its because i have been er ru mu ran -ed since young. dad is a fan, always play on the hi-fi (last time) and home theater system (now). and when i was primary 1 and 2 my chinese teacher (same person) Huang Lao Shi also like teresa teng, and also Ng Peiyin (who is in HCJC now and was in same class as me in Primary 2, 4, 5, and 6) also had a dad who liked her (teresa teng, not peiyin, although lidat also make sense)
so i was thinking, that maybe some songs are damn nice and uber-sad to us, but not so much to others. some past experiences with that song, or how past experiences make you associate well to what is being sung, make a song sad only to you, or make a sad song sadder to you.
i think It's a Small World After All is damn sad. hahaha
but of course there are universally super sad songs. like Gloomy Sunday by Billie Holiday. that is why so many people committed suicide after listening to it, and earned the song the name "The Suicide Song". if u google and read about it, you would be er dao by this song. some guy heard a beggar hum its tune, and he gave the beggar all his cash, and walked into the road deliberately to get killed by a car. the song was denied radio play in numerous countries. people say its because many people can relate to the lyrics and overall mood of the song.
so, yongjun, stop blogging about your sad songs. hahahahahaaa
although i feel that the nicest and most beautiful songs are sad ones.
| Thoughts Became Words At 9:17 PM |
want to break. 2 weeks never break already.
why did i have to injure myself
| Thoughts Became Words At 3:29 PM |
yoyoyoyoyosss!
nothing to blog lately... so im just posting a new song to keep my blog active. some of you might have heard it b4 on tv...the band that sang this is damn zai... (their music is classified under progressive rock) their song structure is very very smooth, and although some songs can reach till 7 minutes plus lidat you wont feel the song is that long... you just immerse, then ay, song ending liao. very good to listen when mugging hahahhaaa.or when sleepung on the bus.
although the lyrics quite little, but the way they used it in a 4 minutes plus song does not make you feel damn sian of the same lyrics over and over again.
enjoysss
"Blackest Eyes"
A mother sings a lullaby to a child
Sometime in the future the boy goes wild
And all his nerves are feeling some kind of energy
A walk in the woods and I will try
Something under the trees that made you cry
It's so erotic when your make up runs
I got wiring loose inside my head
I got books that I never ever read
I got secrets in my garden shed
I got a scar where all my urges bled
I got people underneath my bed
I got a place where all my dreams are dead
Swim with me into your blackest eyes
A few minutes with me inside my van
Should be so beautiful if we can
I'm feeling something taking over me
| Thoughts Became Words At 5:58 PM |
shitx can't even straighten my right leg now. wound still oozing pus.
some nice quotes on cca tees:
If triathlon was easy, it would be called soccer. --some tee i saw while doing jetty jump cip
I told my parents i was joining gymnastics. They flipped.
No wonder I'm so damn good. -- Current RGS Gym Tee
Feeding you dust since 1960. --some sch's track tee
Can onli rmb these... but im sure there are more quirky tees out there
anw check this out :
http://utopia.knoware.nl/users/ptr/pfloyd/interview/latest_news-2.htmlits quite interesting... play wizard of oz and dark side of the moon together, and the lyrics of dark side of the moon fits what is gg on on the film...
| Thoughts Became Words At 1:13 PM |
forget abt dancing in the shower.
just now when i put the legendary Qing Cao You onto my carpet burn wounds i feel pain that i have never felt for nearly 3 years. last time is because of skin coming out due to horizontal bars in gym. and this time the wound on the knee quite big patch. so big surface area for increase in frequency of effective collision. shall put again later before i sleep hahahaa
| Thoughts Became Words At 11:51 PM |
yeay we got double gold for gym again...altho i didnt expect it cos the team really like quite fei.... went gym camp, quite ok. not that fun, but okok. play rugby until foot and knee got carpet burn, the knee one still can drip pus one. take shower can dance. damien lost his 700 bucks phone, hope he finds it or gets some compensation.
good to get in touch with gym ppl every now in then.
anw just bought more chocolates hahahahaaa
| Thoughts Became Words At 11:48 AM |
yo ppl. im wondering how come kiet celest and yj suddenly wonder about death and stuff lidat. now then wonder meh. i was wondering and scaring myself when i was seven lidat la. i used to stay up awake all night thinking of how it is like to die, and how final death is. the finality really is damn scary if you think about it. imagine. no more hearing of laughter. no more having coool water flow down your throat. no more sense of touch. no more thoughts. no more smell of the sea. no more feel of the grass. no more feel of the sun's warmth. you are no more, and feel no more. the people around you go on in this world while you leave and forget everything you have ever known.
but maybe because i never bother to think about this for quite some time, no longer that scared liao. die then die. you cannot do anything about it.
using two quotes that i also put in one of my previous entries:
I knew a man who once said, "death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back." ~From the movie Gladiator
Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live. ~Henry Van Dyke
Life Goes On niggas hahahaa
as for karma, i dun really believe that much in it. dun ask me why, i dun really have a reason. just do whatever you feel is right and makes you happy, and adheres to your conscience. no need to whole day worry about retribution, to me its a bit altruistic, doing good so that you benefit in the end.
as for kh's "thought provoking" blog, i think quite sian. hahaha no offence kh, im happy you blogged finally with your own stuff. but whats the big deal with the nkf thing, i think its undisputed that hes a charlatan, but we should still continue to donate, except maybe not having NKF as a medium.
the NS men thing, i think its really a bit scary, but theres nothing you can do really... just live well and fully can liao...
im watching superstar now, its really damn fei la. damn lousy. goes to show how lousy many singaporeans have, only support ppl with better looks and no talent...
| Thoughts Became Words At 11:20 PM |
yos ppl new song.... hip hop this time. by rap legend 2pac... he can change your opinion of rap music...that rap is not only about crapping about money, women violence and cars.. this song is damn zai... the last part is quite sad too... to me at least...
"Life Goes On"
Chorus: repeat 2X
How many brothas fell victim to tha streetz
Rest in peace young nigga, there's a Heaven for a 'G'
Be a lie,
If I told ya that I never thought of death
My niggas, we tha last ones left
But life goes on.....
Verse One: As I bail through tha empty halls breath stinkin' in my draws
ring, ring, ring
quiet y'all
incoming call
plus this my homie from high school
he's getting bye
It's time to bury another brotha nobody cry
life as a baller alochol and booty calls
we usta do them as adolecents do you recall?
raised as G's
loc'ed out and blazed the weed
get on tha roof let's get smoked out and blaze with me
2 in tha morning and we still high assed out
screamin' 'thug till I die' before I passed out
but now that your gone i'm in tha zone thinkin' 'I don't wanna die all alone'
but now ya gone
and all I got left are stinkin' memories
I love them niggas to death i'm drinkin' Hennessy
while tryin' ta make it last I drank a 5th for that ass when you passed....
cause life goes on
Chorus
Verse Two: Yeah nigga I got tha word as hell
ya blew trial and tha judge gave you 25 with an L
time to prepare to do fed time won't see parole
imagine life as a convict that's getten' old
plus with tha drama we're lookin out for your babies mama
taken risks, while keepin' cheap tricks from gettin on her...
life in tha hood... is all good for nobody
remember gamin' on dumb hotties at chill parties
Me and you
No true a two while scheming on hits and gettin tricks that maybe we can slide into
but now you buried rest nigga cause I ain't worried
eyes bluried sayin' goodbye at the cemetary
tho' memories fade I got your name tated on my arm so we both ball till' my dying days
before I say goodbye
Kato, we're meant to rest in peace
Thug till I die
Chorus Verse
Three: Bury me smilin'
with G's in my pocket have a party at my funeral let every rapper rock it
let tha hoes that I usta know
from way before kiss me from my head to my toe
give me a paper and a pen so I can write about my life of sin
a couple bottles of Gin
in case I don't get in
tell all my people i'm a Ridah
nobody cries when we die
we outlaws let me ride
until I get free I live my life in tha fast lane got police chasen me
to my niggas from old blocks from old crews
niggas that guided me through back in tha old school
pour out some liquor
have a toast for tha homies see we both gotta die but ya chose to go before me
and brothas miss ya while your gone
you left your nigga on his own how long we mourn
life goes on...
Chorus *repeats to end*
(sung overtop repeating chorus)
Life goes on homie gone on, cause they passed away Niggas doin' life Niggas doin' 50 and 60 years and shit I feel ya nigga, trust me I feel ya You know what I mean last year we poured out liquor for ya this year nigga, life goes on we're gonna clock now get money evade bitches evade tricks give players plenty space and basically just represent for you baby next time you see your niggas your gonna be on top nigga their gonna be like, 'Goddamn, them niggas came up' that's right baby life goes on.... and we up out this bitch hey Kato, Mental y'all niggas make sure it's popin' when we get up there don't front.
| Thoughts Became Words At 11:12 PM |
hello everyone! guess who's back? im not telling who...but i think you know him very well
i think the numerous posts on kh, yx quintet and my blog are actually similar... not much differing points. so although im happy everyone is blogging so much, im still a bit sian. so i shall touch on another issue. but BGR AGAIN. hahahahah yongjun fear me. fear the unexperienced but talented noob muahahahahaaaa
my fren (again from other school, and its ranking is below hcjc) once lamented how painful it is to be alone. actually i also got lament with him hahah but a bit out of point. anws. then i said, why not i recommend ppl from my sch to you. so that he got bigger choice. SOL improve. different markets, can practice Gao Discrimination. then maybe can trade contacts cos different schools got different resources and resource utilization efficiencies, so it is more logical for interschool trade. someone hiding in the dark will love me now
anw, then he said no la, later all the hcjc girls too pro, go out must calculate pressure of atmosphere using h roe g, then go on to debunk the myth that horoscopes can dictate how well a relationship can go, finally wondering how such big and complex molecules of protein can make up a simple garlic toast at Cafe Cartel. in summary--there will be this unseen intellectual disparity.
here comes a four letter word.
Love. Is it like what all the serial dramas, love novels with scantily clad hunks and booby babes hugging, and love theorists (especially girls from the school opposite a particular school wearing bronze nipple guards for uniform) claim--- all defying? regardless of race language religion school education level humour level (someones name should be put here, but a bit bite yx's blog) or wadeva aspect? so, assuming this law is true, this means my frens fears are false. if john loves mary, then he dun care whether mary is reading Plato's The Republic or Ladybird's Peter and the Wolf, and kisses her.
lets debunk and undermine arounds.
does that mean true love can also exist between a 72 yr old man and a 20 yr old chiobu? i think most of u would say yes, and go on to say that only most old men are colour ghosts and most 20 yr old chiobus are money ghosts. but i have this inkling that if u love a 70 yr old man TOTALLY and dun care his money, i think got something wrong. seriously. who in the right mind would love a person who could have once play goli with her grandpa? i mean, if really got these type of person then really is true love, but in a warped sense. like how ppl are into animal sex.
but i do think love can defeat difference in education levels. true love mind you. im not talking about how singaporean men say they are happy with their vietamese wives because they do his bidding and are not greedy. my way of terming true love is "if one day she changed face/figure, and if u could choose another person, even if he or she is married, would you change from the one you 'love' now?" so, i guess most of these men would of course choose that particular chiobu around the street instead of their boring wives if given a chance.
true love: husbands kissing their wives after an accident that wrecked the wife's features. admiting that one's partner is not the most beautiful, facially, but the most beautiful internally. but i guess most ppl know this.
back to education level disparity. i have seen jc-poly students lasting damn long. so i guess its possible. just that many of us think it will be hard to communicate with the other. but i think its possible. a few years difference in what they study wad. if character tally then ok.
but then how come 'love' spanning 50 years cannot? can communicate, character tally can wad.
but somehow i still think these type cannot. dunno. readers with blogs, please respond hahahaa
another issue.
some ppl say if u really really love the person then after he or she died you would feel "nothing can compare in this world to you" then proceed to put Single forever on your frenster profile. i guess this is actually quite wei da. its achievable, belivable, understandable, and actually commendable to some. to these ppl they believe in The One. after the one has come and passed, all the Twos and Threes are like eating Country Baked Pasta after eating three Beef Bowls with Vegetable and five servings of Cheese Fries with extra cheese. you are damn sian diao and a bit sick. you cannot forget the One. and if u try to know the Two and Three, you feel like you dui bu qi The One.
but i think if you are a monolovist (like monotheist who believes in one god) then u lidat. for many out there who are polylovists they would still hold a room for the One to reside as a memory, then proceed to open other rooms. so im pro- mono and pro- poly. like half half. amphoteric.
chin hoe said (like kong zi yue but this one oso like a bit out of pt) love can blossom if time and condition is right. like must have reflux for many organic conditions. so i guess hes poly. if really got one day lj left him (touch wood, then molest metal then rape silver (II) nitrate then mutter quotes from Bible Koran and Heart Sutra at the same time) i guess he would lament, then get over it, and get someone else after some time. good and bad to me. to each his own.
i think many ppl go on with their lives thinking whether the one on their minds now are meant for them, and never really immerse themselves completely in love. why fear? sure, it may hurt, but you never know what you would discover and experience. like you spend 4.50 on Pokemon Card booster and either u get PokeDoll as your rare or a holofoil Charizard. thus, go on! rise people! spread the teachings! embarace the new age! the new Aeon has come! love ba! wtf am i typing
think i shd stop here. but b4 i finish ( i think still cannot win yj's length of entry), let me type: Andes Mint Thins are damn nice. fucking nice. can human-chocolate love exist? lame
anw bought new earphones today. yea. earphones. those bud type. prefer these to wad everyone is getting for bdae present because they isolate noise better. check it out tmr peepsss
sigh sian. tmr got sch. shall stop. hopefully can win yj
| Thoughts Became Words At 10:44 PM |
haha after reading both kh and ch (can factorise) entry, here i am.
i think both of them r true. (altho kh's entry not from him)
as in, i do understand what it means by the thing backfiring. chin hoe oso went on to say that if backfire, then switch loh. if she hestitate, means got chance. logic gate not one-way yet.
got anecdote. my fren from other sch once told a girl that he liked her. she said, 'ok'. then she started blocking on msn and daoing in sch and stuff lidat. from good friends hu talk cock online and in sch to become apparent strangers. so i can understand the backfiring part.
and i dun believe in love at first sight too. but got attraction at first sight hahahaa
anw, what do you ppl think about "letting her go because loving dosnt mean possessing"... To me, its 90% serial drama shit. especially when you see the girl you like going with another person obviously inferior to you. i know this might sound a bit ego or whatever, but sometimes it is really obvious, not only to you, that you would be a better bf.
i think often we lament something like, how this girl so chio, so cute, so nice, how come go with this nerd/bastard/flirt/donjuan/despo/cheebyelanjiaonehnehkia. i mean, sometimes we say this is because we jealous, but most of the times really is liddat. really is flower on da bian. and not in terms of looks summore. in terms of the guy's loyalty, attitude blahblah.
sometimes i seriously dunno what to treat such cases. part of me wants to give warnings to the girl. part of me wants to watch her die when the guy shows true colours , like obi good who ask you choose him and not someone else. the remaining part just try to ignore.
this relates back to the possessing thing. ppl would say if you like the girl true enough you would respect whatever choice she makes, and wish her luck for it. i think this is crap if her choice is obviously a wrong one. but if you try stop ppl would call you despo or someone who can't let go. if you try warn about the guy ppl just think you are jealous and trying to tiao po li jian. so, instead, most guys would just be disgusted utterly and try to forget. like jay chou after seeing the ugly girl in inital d get out of the mercedes
i think ppl hu say "i love her too much, i just wish her happiness" are cocks. trying to console oneself for a battle lost. admit it, you were thrashed by a guy who shouldnt even appear on the screen as a enemy unit. like you play pacman suddenly the cookie jump up and eat you and game over. like you play minesweeper and press minimize window and next it's game over.
but. BUT. if you really believe she has made a better choice, like she chose 60GB Ipod Photo with free engraving over a ulu 128mb mp3 player from china, then of course you are indeed totally thrashed. unless you did spend some extremely good times with her and hence she would remember those moments and her heart goes out to you still, you are owned. GGed. pawned. burned. served. dio-lubbed. thats when you realize she would be happier than being with you. thats when you wish her all the best, good luck, and give her one box chicken essence (and remind her to remember bring entry proof).
hahaha all these r just some thoughts from a non-gaoer.
| Thoughts Became Words At 5:18 PM |
yos... watched initial d today with chin yj celest and kiet... nicer than i thought..i was half expecting a cliche story that featured how cool jay chou is.. but no loh..its nice.. funny summore... its a simple story about how a simple guy makes it big... tho the girl not gd looking but out of the pt hahaha... and i wad thinking that the movie would be boring since it featured racing.. i was thinking how exciting can watching some cars race and drift around be... but no loh, by some pro filming technique its actually very watchable.. not really a boring moment in the whole movie... but i still most likely wont go read the comic cos the illustration sux...
anw left one day ppl make full use babes
| Thoughts Became Words At 10:23 PM |
bought this pair of earstuds at Bits and Pieces... for myself. hahahaha but only need one side, but since they onli sell in pairs i had to buy it for 28 bucks... but it seriously damn damn nice... freaking glittering... Bling-Bling yall niggas. 77th street one damn lousy... tho its cheaper, but dosnt shine much, and the stone drop out easily... damn crudely made... haha now theres a shiny shit on my ear muahahaha anw i saw alicia when i went into the shop...a bit no link but just worth noting..
yesterdaes breaking session was dope! i was expecting myself spending the whole of 4 hrs trying to get back wad i had lost after my breakfast for 2 weeks plus..but no loh... half an hour later i was back on track. gahahahhaa but still got one thing that hindered me--loss of momentum. break a while damn tired. or mayb cos these few daes hadnt been slping much. so didnt really get down new stuff. getting better at 1. handglide to airchair to handglide to airchair 2. rollback one hand drop to forearm 3. elbow spins... getting some decent balance finally. shall break twice or thrice more this week... yepyep
anw gettind addicted to chocs again.. just went out to white sands juz to buy some chocs... hahahahaa
| Thoughts Became Words At 2:15 PM |
yeay blocks finish! five days to utilize fully... break read sleep eat slack maybe run once or twice for fun...ROAR
just watched war of the worlds..not bad sias. tom cruise pro acting. starting part damn exciting. ending expected. cos read b4. think watching movies which u have read b4 really enhances your enjoyment factor.
like LOTR. like Van Helsing. like Exorcist.
and i wanna watch King Kong! by peter jackson la..the person hu revived tolkien...
still must save.. some stuff to buy...
anw enjoy the five days ppl... haha i know i will b
| Thoughts Became Words At 11:55 PM |
