mr. Perfect and mrs Perfect just quarrelled. they threw their perfect furniture around, allowing the ideally scupltured chairs and beautifully shaped tables and utopiatically contoured cupboards to slice through the air of their home, which is in the ideal perfect composition ratio of gas molecules.
this quarrel arose cos each of them, being perfect, wanted the other to admire him or herself. But the other, being also perfect, couldnt be bothered with this admiring thing. So no admiring was exchanged, and each thus felt the other didnt like him or her. and so they decided to break up, and in a moment of perfect competitveness, decided to see who will fare better in finding a better companion.
and thus began the epic journeys of mr perfect.
he decided to date 'em all, all 250 of them, and see who is the best, so that he would not lose face when he faces miss perfect, the Elite One, at Victory League, Indigo Plateau, in the future.
first he came to Ice City. in the freezing showers of white, he saw a lonely figure in the white. It was the Ice Queen, the epitome of distance and untouchability. She was always alone, and her face was frozen forever with a neutral expression. Her Level 42 Aura of Warped Time and Space meant that the more you approached her the more distant she would become. When you really got too close she would use IceBeam from her eyes and you would be frozen and you lose one turn. only a Level 99 BradPitt (currently bradpitt is level 42 only cos he still needs a isaacnewtobraintransplant and bruneikingsmoney and godzillasgugujiao to reach 99) can ever pentrate her aura
so Perfect decided to move on after his gugu was broken off by frostbite. next he came to Fantacity, the land of shining knights in golden armor and supremely pure white (eurasian) horses and lofty castles and evil scheming witches waiting to trap innocent virgins. He saw a figure in a room in a tall tower, and he went to see. It was a Level 57 FantasyGirl, clad in pinkish princess-like robes with long black hair trailing down her back.
"hi care to go out for the perfectest date ever in your imperfect life?" announced Perfect.
"oh help me save me my shining knight save me from this dark abyss of a prison and carry me on white (eurasian) horseback under the frail moonlight to the land of neverending summer and vibrant seas of flowers oooohhhhhh save this fragile and helpless princess from distress omg omg help me oh my valiant and shining one"
"fuck you and your daydreams pls get back to reality cheebye"
and so Perfect went on. he came to a path and met a figure. She was stuck on a wall. Being perfect, Perfect helped to peel her off the wall.
"OMG you saved me im yours FOREVER"
and the figure threw herself on him and stuck there damn tightly. Perfect's handphone suddenly beeped cos 294 smses just came with all of them talking about goodnites and looking at the stars and thinking of him and he appearing in her dreams and such. about 96 missed calls also came, most of them cos she just wanted to hear his voice. With much horror Perfect discovered he has met the UhuGirl. she would be his guardhouse, cos whenever his friends called to ask him out they would have to go through her. altho he can dominate the glue industry with her, Perfect finally got rid of her with much effort and moved on
he was walking sianly on the path when his eyes were suddenly pulled to the side altho his eyes quite small like Rain's and F=Ma but still the F quite big so his eyes were quite pain. but then he saw the epitome of attentionattraction. it was a powerful Lodestonegirl. only by combing Magneto with a level 70 Magneton and 56 tefal vacuum cleaners will you get this legendary figure. clad in LV robes and carrying a bright hot pink Chanel handbag and sporting about 38 Gucci hairpins and sucking on a prada lollipop and blowing her Biotherm-washed nose on a Moleskin tissue paper, she strutted around the path up and down about 20 times. Perfect was about to speak to her when she threw a paper (Moleskin also) at him that said give me a vacheronconstantinwatchifyouwanttospeaktomeoneword
Perfect shouted a "fuck you" but then she threw a Burberry condom at him and said "put your credit card with its PIN inside then"
next he encountered the Prophetess, a 700th descendent of Nostradamus. before he had a chance to talk to her, she shrieked "lets get married we would have 3 sons and 2 daughters and their names would be Jonathan and Glen and Graham and Samantha and Tracy and we would drive a Honda Civic and you fetch the kids from school after work and i would be your housewife at home doing chores and we would live a perfect family life and so lets get married NOW and i mean NOW does the word NOW sound and look like the word Later or Seefirst you fucking cheebye lets go ROM right now without much ado so what the hell are you waiting for for the one last time i need yall to roar"
Perfect couldnt take it anymore and ran away screaming. where was his miss perfect? how could the rest of the world be so not like her, so imperfect? altho he has seen 'em all, his pokedex full alr, he just wanted his same old miss perfect, the one who would not be a icequeen but would instead melt his heart; the one who has daydreams and shares them with him but knows fantasy is only fantasy and they were better off listening to jay chou's album; the one who knows when to stick to him and when to act inaccessible, when to give in and not to; loves to go shopping with him but knows when to pull the reins; becomes the prophetess only when the time is right and he is ready.....
but try as he may he couldnt find miss perfect. where was she? looks like she was having her own adventures somewhere.....
| Thoughts Became Words At 11:40 AM |
