The Eulogy of My Uncaring; The Elegy of My Apathy

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I WANT TO KBOX GUGUJIAO

Thoughts Became Words At 10:43 PM

Sunday, February 25, 2007

hi hcjc people, haha just some shits i found when i was uber bored and gaoing my com just now as usual

our beloved (muacks) junior class grad video:

forward together back together right together left together forward turn forward turn

my fav dance ever haha

and finally, some rather gay 2007 vid abt our rather gay firedrills. and all of them are rather ugly. haha. like we all did during first 3 months HAHHAA

Thoughts Became Words At 9:53 PM

Saturday, February 24, 2007

very late response to something kaihong blogged, and very very late response to something we once blogged on quintet blog, and very very very late response to what i pondered on since i was young

frequently enough we often hear people saying oh i want to live a simple life, be contended with the bare mimimum, my aim is to retire early and marry a simple girl and escape to some seaside cottage in switzerland and live a hermits simple life

that, my dears, is all bullshit as the shit coming from a bull (<---bullshit) a perfectly simple life is something utopian, we can dream it, imagine it, but its as unreachable as castles in the sky, nothing to do with SHE concerts or some cartoon thing called Howl

the only way its possible is only if youre some native of some New Guinea or Africa or something. cos we, the citizens of civilization, pledge ourselves as one complex people, regardless of race, language or religion or even upbringing, so as to achieve shallow happiness, materialistic prosperity and questionable progress of our nations

what am i cheebying trying to say? means after you have come into contact with the modern world, seen the complex world, allowed the full developments of the world to reach you, you are no longer a simple person alr. Tractor Beam a New Guinean native and let him be airborne ranger and throw him into New York and let him see all the lights and cars and guns and LV bags and REC Britney Spears in tekong and tractorbeam him back to his homeland again, and this person will never be the same again. he will longer think simple thoughts, will look at his gay campfire and think of the lights of Yankee Stadium, look at his stone spear and think of AKs, look at wild boars and think of desmond

means yes you can escape to your seaside cottage, but when you try so hard to light a candle or maybe pump up the generator you begin thinking of electrical lights. when you grow your own vegetables and have them eaten up by caterpillars you think of your usual pesticide-laden ones. when you do pluck water from the nearby stream you think of tap water in singapore. when you screw your simple girl but dun want too many simple kids you think of 7 11 and condoms

summore Man was never made to be simple. hey, we started off simple after all; look how the nearnderthal became modern man all by himself! simple man was created/evolved in the same planet as modern man now; all it took was time to let simple man become modern man all by himself. so it is actually inherent for us to become modern. how can one declare to abandon civilization and live a simple secluded life? by doing so, isnt he not doing what nature and time decreed, and isnt that unnatural and nothing simple indeed? isnt going as nature intended, becoming modern and seemingly unsimple, is actually more simple?

we are all born and brought up in a complex world, and considering the above, we arnt going anywhere. so isnt it dumb to choose a simple way of living your life, as kaihong so proudly delcared? here we have, all the Machivellis of the modern world running around with insights and schemes and grandplans, and you have the humble oneway-thinking easily-contended simple simon who is definetly going to get owned by all the backstabs and backfuckintheassbyquekngeepoos. its a dog eat dog world; you simply cant announce im gg to be a simple cat and go eat my ayam brand and you will end up getting fucked doggy style. you cant simply just choose to be simple; modernity has made your life complex, and yes its as fucked up as doing Complex Numbers maths problems, but you simply cant uncomplex your life, and try to be simple, cos going simple means you die, simply

so whats the best way? my say is be simply complex, yet be complex until you appear to be simple. for a wolf in sheeps clothing will always own all the other wolfs running around

Thoughts Became Words At 9:34 PM

Saturday, February 17, 2007

well well cny is here again.

seems only a while ago when i was selling tiger beer while wearing some gay orange Guinness shirt and cheating old men and smsing kh and phyllis abt my sales. seems only yesterday when i was sitting in yuhangs house amidst our juniors thinking what the gay shit am i doing here doing nothing at all. seems only a moment ago when 04s65 was selling some rather gay ice cream floats in hc's cny funfair and with our senior class trying out our shitty stuffs. seems only a month ago when i was sitting in kah kee hall watching some rather gay shit gugujiao chinese orchestra performance on stage and preparing myself to chiong to my primary school after this to meet my psch mates

and yes its all the gay questions and comments like "hows army" "wah grow up so tall already" "got girlfriend or not" "what you studying in university". but arnt you sick of ppl complaining of all this annual questions. what you expect your relatives to ask? "hey yo hows blog coming along? still blogging as often? why dont you blog abt the recent issue of the annual Budget?" "nigga hows your medical centre's report sick rate?" "hi had you checked out the new stock of Visvim shoes at Surrender recently? they are the hot shit man, pls take this hongbao money and buy them"

but seriously cny has lost its meaning for me. nt that it meant a great deal last time too. but for me now its just a time to collect money and an excuse to buy new stuff. for some its an excuse to chiong junk food. but i have been doing this everyday of my life and still not getting fat anw big deal hahaha. and summore this yr im down with headache fever and sorethroat for cny so cant eat much. guess ill just drink my 12 years johnnie walker black label that my men bought for me from roc hahahahaha

Thoughts Became Words At 9:05 AM

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

legends and myths and fables tend to be the most outdated things in the world. they are like newspaper archives; first time you read them rather interesting but then next you you realize whats the point they arnt relevant anymore

niu tou ma mian really want walk around for thousands of years with their animal heads and shining bronze armor and their swords and halbreds la. next time you go newurbanmale and see a cowboy in black hot leather and another guy who keeps saying "nehneh" maybe they are the ones you are looking for

thats the reason why the Citadel of Cupids decided to keep up with times. btw cupids have a lot, not only one. how would you think they can cater to ppl like desmond who YINGYING(wahlaudeepdeepvoice) change targets canadian bull 100metres magazine of 6rounds load watch your front

for one they no longer fly around in skimpy peekaboo togas. with ppl like michael jackson running around would you really want www.cutecupidupskirt.com. summore with his neverland thingy those flying pretty boys confirm appear to be like peter pan to him no relevance to gongpanpan pls sorry hongyi

who still uses arrows when you have heavy uptodate firepower. arrows are only used for lazy upper echelons to shoot sai gang parties sispec warriors we are the warriors sispec warriors with pride we will lead. summore got different weapon for different circumstance

like got this bungalow torpedo, use already can make girls fall in love with bukittimahprivateestate-dwelling, hugoboss-donning, moneyshitting guys

also got this gaymore mine for ppl like quekngeepoo but beware of backblast but then again when did gayness have nothing to do with the behind

next for creating minor relationship hiccups and flare-ups just use the tripflare. or for more serious cases you can use metaldoor, confirm those slamming doors will be fucking loud

cupids are actually gods but no one has really payed them respect. so they lost respect for themselves and play around with weapons even with blank rounds post videos on youtube summore. its funny why no one prays to them given how everyone think love is so important. just burn 3 chocolate pocky sticks, packaging is a plus, and offer can alr

sorry for the heavy army reference here, couldnt help it, but since love is nothing but war so why not the army imagery

Thoughts Became Words At 7:56 PM

Friday, February 09, 2007

doing overnight duty. hahaha. using com in my sir's room to come online hahahaa. rather weird blogging while in an army camp wearing long 4 while your men are outside watching huo yuan jia on some other com hahahahaa

after reading chin's entry which was partially in reply to my entry so actually this is a reply to a reply so its this a reply or a rereply so she replies replies on a seashore if she replies replies on a seashore where are all the rereplies she replied on a seashore

parents are really really valuable. you must be thinking duh what the fuck it took you 19 and going to be twenty years to realise and type it out but still i must say again now i really fully appreciate them. especially if you know abt my family stuff which i dun think i have ever told anyone single person before

there was a period of time when i really neglected my parents deliberately, even totally ignored their birthdays. went out earlier than them, came back when they were all asleep. i may have told some of you some time ago, that i have not eaten any home cooked food for 3 years liddat. there was even a time when i threw some half eaten delifrance croissant at my mum. but b4 you think im some gay unfilial dog bastard who deserves to die i must say if u dun understand the situation at the time pls dun say im a dog. in fact it was a bad act with a good intention, like a white lie. but too long and still i dun really feel lk telling anyone so ya you can still think me as a golden retriever if u wish

maybe time and army and 19 plus years of gaying around and so much shit happening and lots of milk and salmon sashimi and kong ba pau has made me grow up a bit more finally. im planning something gd for my mums not really near but immiment birthday. buying something for my parents for cny. appreciating every single home cooked dinner i return home too even tho its nearly everyday that i get to go home. sometimes i look at my mum when shes not looking and i see a little girl there. sometimes when i see my dad with my grandma i see a small kid there talking to his mum like it has always been for 50 plus years. has it ever occured to you that when you try to act grown up and rebel and ignore your parents your parents suddenly become lost and become the kid instead in a cruel reversal of roles? has it occured to you that one day you will be stuck in a big flabby old wrinkled weak powerless ill frame of a body and you look helplessly at your children whom you thought you have always understood but suddenly felt like you knew nothing about them at all?

perhaps my previous entry was wrong, the one abt the love appearing if given enough time thing. for me at least, it took me several years to finally find back the love for my parents. it was never gone, it has always been there hidden. it just took me some regrettable time to find it back, but at least i finally did it didnt i

Thoughts Became Words At 11:00 PM

Thursday, February 08, 2007

if im not wrong one of the said origins of valentines day is because of this monk called valentine.
for some reason he was captured and jailed but still he sent letters around ending with from your valentine and he also helped secretly arrange marriages during a period when some roman emperor claudius banned marriages of roman soldiers. so he was made a saint and every feb 14 guys throw money around throw chocolate and flowers around and hope to catch em all

in respect of this pro figure im gg to be a monk just like him this valentines and go straight back home to rot after falling out on wednesday

Thoughts Became Words At 8:18 PM

Sunday, February 04, 2007

spring cleaning is a rather fun thing you do every year. you can wipe all the coils of your king koil bed, discover that F=k.e (stoke's law), eat tenderfresh spring chicken and get your mouth injured by all the hidden metal coils inside, and ignore how dirty autumn winter and summer is while you are only biased towards spring

OK spring cleaning is really rather fun. you get to unearth fragments of your past out and see them once a year, like seeing them for the first time and reliving that particular moment of your life for the second time. its like a very personal archaelogical dig into your own past. something like the Store of Memorabila featuring celestine who imparts her utter chioness to all the fellow actors and actress via makeup and costumes so that desmond can finally date all these cast and thus find a companion for every single person part of him

dug out doodles when i was nine, single line exercise books containing my big plans for a huge fantasy plot, chinese high yearbooks, I Am David (lit text for Sec One), a dusty old chinese high councillor tie, my very first and very old sony discman, angel mortal letters from both years

and i broke the mirror chengying gave me (remember the uber zai 'letter' on a wooden mirror frame from ikea that spawned gaoing rumors hahahaha) cos the frame was coming off so i fiddled with it and the mirror detached and dropped on the floor before i could shout fuck which i eventually did

but spring cleaning also got its hidden areas of displeasure. i had to endure continued kbs from my dad cos he saw my multitudes of shoes and keep kbing on and on. say my shoes is more than one typical family's. say my room is more like a grocery store with all its shoes and books and alcohol bottles and items of memory and dumbbells and wallet boxes and watch boxes and ipod boxes and headphone boxes and whatever not

but after arranging all those shits you feel rather pleased and achieved. like you have just revisited your past and gave it a little organizing. like a desperate and rather futile attempt to do something, anything, to change your past

Thoughts Became Words At 4:27 PM

Friday, February 02, 2007

growth is never a solitary affair. plants possess their inherent ability to grow, but require sunlight and water and whataver you learnt in P3 Science. wine ages with time but its very result of its growth depends on the wood of the cask the surrounding air the soil where the vines grow. a gugujiao can be stimulated by mere self-entertaining fantasy erotic thoughts in the mind alone but physical stimulation is always more catalytic in effect. Grow milk powder cant turn into milk by itself but requires hot water and some stirring.

thus you can never just merely grow all by yourself. you, reading this here and now, feel that you have gone through that certain number of years in your life, and have indeed matured and grown.but you yourself, the very you, would be a different you if you grew up in China, or grew up listening to Guns and Roses scream while you were drinking your nespray, or more simply studying in a different school and meeting different people. a VJC samuel peck would not be a HCJC samuel peck. a interact club samuel peck would not be the same as a gymnastics samuel peck. perhaps if i grew up eating more tuna i would be smarter cos of the omega3

love is the same thing. you might think you omfgly love this particular person to bits, he or she is the one and only, that you two are made just for each other, that both of your protruding bits and gaping crevices fit together perfectly just like a nice 2-piece jigsaw puzzle (no sexual connotations here i think)

but actually its because u spent so much time listening to this person talk and laugh, so much time breathing in his or her smell, so many times when he or she appears in your daily life, that you yourself am altered to suit him or her.

what am i trying to say? means even if you put two quarelling people (male and female, shall not touch on homos here) who hate each other to the core and let time flow on eventually you will have one couple, assuming you remove all sharp objects from venue at hand first.

so perhaps love at first sight is merely because eveything you see on her has a label saying "chio" just because you have grown up learning and thinking that those particular attributes are chio. like if you grew up just watching snow white & the seven dwarves and Mulan only then maybe when you see a china female 2nd sergeant commanding her 7 short men in section live firing you would fall in love with her.

so a samuelpeck who was a vjc student would have a different image of his PerfectOne from a hcjc samuelpeck. cos vjc would have provided him different colors and brushstrokes that were used to paint this perfect picture

so to all those heartbroken, gged, dioowned people out there, just change your life a bit, mod your life a bit, tweak here and there, change the colors a bit, change the brushstrokes a bit, and your perfect one, whom you thought was that cheebye that just left you, would now be another person already.

and this thingy above can also be used to address the topic brought up during the holland V session with miss lim. abt the maturity issue. i think maturity does not come with age. it comes with continued bombardment of events that force you to grow up. you are thrown into the fray that you are forced to live by its means, to use it means to survive in it. every single person out there, from your father to mm lee kuan yew to any old man (he played one) is merely a child who has only learnt the skills and manner to act, the mask to wear, so as to fit in and survive in society. when you strip these you get people breaking down and revealing the child hiding within

Thoughts Became Words At 11:07 PM