The Eulogy of My Uncaring; The Elegy of My Apathy

Sunday, April 29, 2007

ppl who know me probably know that im not really a chinese song listener. i especially hate 9.33FM because 90% of the time the DJ is reading out fucking mushy and gay and act poetic love letters or expressions of utter longing.

if i go kbox i most of the time only sing one singer only, the rest all some misc stuff from misc singers. yes, im mostly a jay chou person. werid for a guy, but i have all of his albums and songs, including all the misc singles and live stuff

and just now while listening to his songs after so long, i realized for each and every album, i can relate so something in the past

First Album having the same name as himself: Didnt really go hear this one until i have listened to Fantasy. rmb i was at my grandmas house and seeing one of his gay first concerts and thinking why are so many girls screaming for this cap donning autistic looking guy murmuring into the mike while staring at the ground. anw when i first heard this album i was thinking that Hei She You Mo must be one of the worst sounding songs ever, and that his entire album just shows how much he wanted to be a Tao Zhe wannabe (and yeah he idolised him b4 starting his career)

Fantasy: the one that started it off. rmb ZhiHan bringing the album to gym, blasting RenZhe loud loud, showing us the album booklet, making me say WTH who is this gay autistic guy trying to look cool by decking out in ninja gear and hoodies. but slowly i loved the songs, and rmb listening to JianDanAi while playing magic cards at bishan stadium and ignoring whatever gymnastics competition is going on below. rmb that memorizing and trying to rap the lyrics of BaWoHuiLaiLe was the coolest thing around. and oh ya, rmb seeing ngeepOO and melissafOO sitting at the classbench heads almost touching sharing earphones looking at the same booklet containing the lyrics to AnJing and singing together in the morning during the period before Flag Raising begins HAHAHAAA

BaDuKongJian: BanShouRen was some gay music for some warcraft series, didnt really bother. LongQuan was some gay music for some pepsi ad with jay chou inside, and oddly i liked the song a lot. hahahaaha. think its was sec3 or something. thought that i makes a gd dance song and was cheorographing some gay dance shit in my mind using this song hahahahahahahaha

YeHuiMei: confirm tihs came out during sec four. rmb buying the album at junction8 just shortly after its release and bringing to class to hao lian cos i was the first to have it haha. saw the YiFuZhiMing video, and tot it was damn cool, and i still think the song is pretty zai. QingTian was some gay music for soem Panasonic ad with jay chou in it, and in the ad i think he jumps off some building to catch and answer some phone i think hahahaah gay. SanNianErBan was cool stuff with the pingpong beat thing. and yeah during this time it was gg to be Prelims and Os, and my family abandoned me by gg overseas, leaving me king of the house and neglector of studies. rmb reading history notes while listening to Shuang Dao and also watching its vid with the ending with JayChou hooking up with some hot angmo babe.

QiLiXiang:JC1. again, i bought the album 1 day b4 its offical release,a dn next day brought to school to show off hahahaahhaa. rmb listening to it on my silvery sony discman in physics lecture by having only one side of the earphones inside the ear that is hidden from the lecturer. rmb listening to it at KAP while a few of us (got chinhoe, jimman, cy, and the rest i forgot alr paiseh haahaha) were reading Solids,Liquids and Gases and some other gay topics for Chemistry for some gay Blocktest, which i confirm flunked later on HAHAHAA. rmb clara writing the lyrics of QiLiXiang on some paper and giving to yj and me squirting some drops of contact lens solution onto the paper and making yj buaysong me to the max. HAHAHAHA. rmb hy asif-ing around by rapping and singing WaiPo hahahahaaa.

11YueDeXiaoBang: JC2. rmb it coming out when we were all chionging for Prelims and As. (why must he release albums jsut before major stuff hahahah) . rmb tag letting me listen to a goped-from-radio YeQu at ParkwayParade library before the album came out. rmb HeiSheMaoYi was tag's fav song, maybe cos the lyrics were in sync with his feelings at that time. rmb really listening to the album after gg in army, and signing Feng damn loud with one of my section mates while wiping windows for standbybed until other bunks shouted diamla and the storeman downstairs shouted whatsia HAHAHAHAAH

YiRanFanTeXi: heard the goped-from-radio QianLiZhiWai in bun, and tot what the neh is jay chou singing same song with feiyuqing, and i still think the song is damn off. but this album is the one i have least memory attachments to, cos i was really doing nothing worthwhile when this album was out. why? cos i was in medic course, and its totally zhuobo max. i was playing magic cards and booking out to drink beer and sleeping on the floor between the beds in bunk and scolding instructors and eating porkchopfriedrice everyday. really do nothing meaningful hahaha. but i was singing TingMaMaDeHua everyday from bunk to canteen to MCSRoom to Trainingshed hahahaha.

hope jay chou releases his album only at December's end this year. cos then next time when i listen to this album i would think of only three letters. and what are they

Thoughts Became Words At 10:41 PM

Friday, April 27, 2007

a picture speaks a thousand words. it freezes time momentarily, stops that particular frame, captures that certain moment, and stores within it some of the magic of that very special event. it is as if pictures are some sort of a object that can capture time itself, some receptacle of the one thing that has eluded Man's attempts to tame it since the dawn of time

in that case, a video must speak a thousand sentences. a single video is like thousands of pictures put together, capturing one exact period of the event itself, as if you are cutting and pasting into storage, so that you can bring this special captured fragment of time away with you to the future, a kidnapping of the past

as a nostaliga cure and an attempt to travel back to the past once more, has anyone ever tried to record every single moment of his life? from brushing teeth to going out to sleeping to saying unfunny jokes like mo bi to saying accidentally funny ones like rape of nanking, not a moment goes unrecorded, not a moment goes forgotten, every moment will be there for revisiting in the future; you can have your entire past life with you

however, although not a second went unrecorded, videos and other recording medium can never ever capture the very special element of Being Present. yes, you can watch your entire life all over again, but its totally different from living your life again. you can watch your wedding dinner and relive the magic of that night, but the feeling is different from being actually there; its the knowledge that you can actually do ANYTHING to make the night more special that makes it magical. what am i saying? means its what i can do thats gives it the sorcery; watching a video is only seeing what you already did.

means if you record your first sexual encounter; u can watch replay telecastts every night in an attempt to relive that feeling every single night, but the sure thing is the magic just will not feel right. cos in the past when you were really just having your first sexual encounter, its the "wow its my first. what can i do? what move? what maneuvure? vertical suplex or people's elbow?" its the Ifs and ICans and Howtorespondtothises that makes its magical, not the IDidThis and WatchMeDoMyStoneColdStunners

i dunno why im typing all these gugujiao, just on impulse tho. Impulse = F.t

Thoughts Became Words At 11:25 PM

Thursday, April 26, 2007

fucking sian.

Thoughts Became Words At 9:09 PM

Saturday, April 21, 2007

HAHAHA check this out chen shui bian has his very own AF1s hahahahaa

Thoughts Became Words At 1:25 PM

Thursday, April 19, 2007

i was all alone in my dream
when you suddenly walked in there
you left as quickly as you came
turning a dream into nightmare

Thoughts Became Words At 8:17 PM

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

when i was a kid, lets hope its a was not a is hahahhaaa, everyone was playing with toy cars, ninja turtles, transformers and G.I.Joes. i was playing PlayDoh, MicroMachines, and most of importantly of all MONSTERS. i loved monster figurines. i had nearly the full set of MonsterInMyPocket figurines, these damn nice small colorful rubber figurines of monsters like the Harpy, Hydra and Cyclops.

but the ones i liked best came from Godzilla and Ultraman. hahahaaa. does anyone reading this really know what the gugu are names like KingGhidorah, Rodan, Spacegodzilla and Biollante. anyone recognize the names Zetton and Redking? i really loved those 12" figurines of them, but sadly i cant find any of them now. but just now i managed to dig up a Spacegodzilla figurine, and i was damn happy. hahahaaha

and guess why i really liked Playdoh and micromachines? playdoh to create my own monsters, micromachines to act as actual fodder for my monster figurines to throw and trash about, recreating my very scenes of Ultraman and Godzilla. haahhha. so everything else is really linked to monsters.

i was playing so much monster toys and drawing so many monsters and watchinhg so many monster shows and playing so many monster games and reading so many monster books that my parents really thought i would grow up to be a monster, really hahahahaa. they believed that you grow up to look like what you interacted with since young. ok maybe i do look like a monster now cos im as single as a kaihong singlet so should really blame all those plastic toys

ok but now after just watching super old-school videos (1960s!) of godzilla and ultraman on youtube im once again back to the kaiju-phile (kaiju is japanese for monster) of young. really feel like digging up all my toys and maybe, maybe i might even drop down to toys r'us or some weird vintage toy store to source for my good old plastic kaiju figurines, my childhood love

Thoughts Became Words At 9:59 PM

Sunday, April 15, 2007

The REAL Five People You Meet In Heaven

1) That attentionphilic beng wannabe sitting in the MRT/back of bus blasting out latest Chinese pop songs at volume 9 on his damn cool mp3-enabled handphone
throughout the entire trip. behold, he has followed you even to here

2) The Christian freak who keeps asking you about your life and quoting psalms of Mark and John every 3 sentences. its heaven aint it

3) Eric Clapton. didnt he ask you to call his name when you do

4) Mitch Albom, sourcing for The Next Five You Meet

5) Entire cast of Days Of Our Lives, they're still at it

Thoughts Became Words At 9:46 AM

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Thoughts Became Words At 12:35 AM

Monday, April 09, 2007

went back to gym today. was early or actually i was the only one punctual so i walked around and took some pictures. with my 2.0 megapixel handphone camera hahahahaha

the iconic tower. symbol, national heritage, ghost story venue, place of all the muggers

my classroom, the toilet block. relief for tower block people, dumping ground for the rest, place to kick classroom soccer in

the trackandfield. all the combined sports meets with all the sleeveless armpit hair nygh girls and the 16-man baton relay runs and the handstand walking on the burning track till blisters mushroom on the hands. and of course, the horse under the sky, the ma that kept looking at phyllis hahahaha

the tchs canteen. place to escape to from lectures, place to eat the notoriously er red bowl noodles, place to eat the famously delicious green plate vegetable rice, place to drink the damn cheap fruit juice. my first ever dish here and thus in tchs was the ah peh's vegetarian rice that he ying ying give you stuff you dun wan hahaha

place to jump and chiong down from classroom to canteen especially during those 10-minuite tchs breaks.

place to run back from tchs to hcjc when the bell has already rung 10 minutes ago and mdm yeo is staring at the tables thinking where is everyone

hahahaha.

the zen garden. place where me yj chin celest and kiet first saw our jrs for the very first time cos we were eager to find out who the hell the name arthur belongs to hahahahahhahahahaaaa

alas, in a twinkling of an eye school has ended, people have dispersed, and yet time goes ever on, and money gets spent ever on, and new buildings thus rise ever on

ah, the anchor of all currents of nostalgia, the cornerstone of all things nostalgic, the embodiment and avatar of all things past in hcjc. where all the laughter, the tears, the grafitti, the ponning, the mugging, the sleeping, where everything seems to spin around. i just miss the class bench, if only can take home from bukit timah to pasir ris

if class bench was 2nd home in jc, this would be 2nd home in sec sch. top notch gym with top notch coach. hahahahaahahahahahaahahahahaaaaa

alas, for all the backward reminiscing and nostalgia, time goes relentlessly onwards, the kid from meet the robinsons shouts keep moving forward, and there is no way back, for its naught but a one way road. only in memory can it live on

ok so after asif-ing around with my camera handphone and asif-ing around in gym it was time to go makan with gym mates. recced town for good places to eat, price not really an issue hahahaa. shd try sun with moon restaurant at wheelock, looks really good. but in the end went to park mall to eat kublai khan mongolian bbq buffet. not very very nice, feels too china restuarant to me, but worth the money, chionged too much seafood esp. salmon sashimi. didnt eat like my p.b. too, not having a very good stomach nowadays. and yeah there goes my money saving plan

Thoughts Became Words At 12:06 AM

Sunday, April 08, 2007

everybody's changing, like how a certain keane song belts out, but then sumhow i feel more or less the same, like some rigid constant in a complex equation of life, like some ConstantIne liddat AHHHHHH FUNNY LA

the quietest people you know become some fuck shit vibrant open minded yelping cheerleading type of gay shit, the most optimistic people become so glum and monotonous that they become the afamed machine-man (refer below) , and some people just become so damn weird that they do the most unexplainable and unexpected shits

even the world is changing. it is finally warming up to human existence. no wonder even this gay white fuck with white as surname is becoming tanner every week hahahahaa. we are all getting slowly but surely roasted to our dehydrated deaths. pretty soon at kfc no more original already, all cripsy only. pretty soon the movie sunshine would seem the most ridiculous movie ever, shd have let the sun die. pretty soon UV rays so much that little india would expand and conquer the world and we would all be planet india. pretty soon it will be so hot that everyone will wear singlets and bermudas and slippers and sunglasses and we would all be planet indian kaihong

maybe this is the actual apocalyptic armageddonic nostradamusly deepimpactous end of days; everyone is turning unexplainably weird, we are all getting roasted alive, britney spears is planning a comeback, people still listen to techno, gay fucks still buy and flaunt fake pirated bathing ape and nike stuff, and desmond is returning from taiwan

but seriously, seeing how change is taking place everywhere, i really wonder whether its a change for the better. am i making a steadfast but otherwise obstinate and futile stand on my island amidst the turbulent seas of change? will my little rock go down under? or should i follow the tides, go clubbing just to grind around, enter a relationship when the magic is just not there, treat anybody's caring enquries as irritating probes into your life? yes, here i am shooting under-the-table arrows, but not being too explicit here, cos nearly everyones a changed person, later they unleash change upon me and devour me, all the 5cent and 10 cent and 50cent (I GOT THE MAGIC STICK) come pouring all over me AHHHHH FUNNY LA

Thoughts Became Words At 1:46 AM

Friday, April 06, 2007

The brawling of a sparrow in the eaves,
The brilliant moon and all the milky sky,
And all that famous harmony of leaves,
Had blotted out man's image and his cry.

A girl arose that had red mournful lips
And seemed the greatness of the world in tears,
Doomed like Odysseus and the labouring ships
And proud as Priam murdered with his peers;

Arose, and on the instant clamorous eaves,
A climbing moon upon an empty sky,
And all that lamentation of the leaves,
Could but compose man's image and his cry.

Thoughts Became Words At 5:34 PM

Thursday, April 05, 2007

been watching lots of movies. lots and lots. during duties, at home, replays on television. anything but at the cinema. the way i watch cinema movies is like how std infects your gugujiao after gg roc and screwing pin lang girls amidst neverending crimson and cotton-soft fields of heavenly pin lang bathed in the wonderful yellow-golden warm sunlight of taiwan, how the mushroom sprouts here and there sporadically and sparingly. my 2nd last film was DeathNote2, after that was 300 being my last movie. will anticipate missing essentials like Transformers and Spiderman3. think my next movie is gg to be RockyBalboa3: UndeadBoxer or maybe Mr and Mrs Jones Jr. part 4, featuring the adopted children of actors involved

but anws have watched a lot, caught up with all those shits i missed. and i just have to recommend some essentials

please, please if got time go watch Schindler's List by Steven Spielberg. it was rated R so thats why i didnt watch it. its really really damn meaningful. and its a true story. ok maybe cos im a sucker for sad war films but then again i watched saving pte ryan and thought it was a gay and overrated film ahahhaa.

and do watch Der Untergang (Downfall) also. another war film. describing the last days of Hitler. not much war action sequences but then again its more of an artisitic film. damn nice and meaningful.

and also watch yet another war film, this one shd b more familiar and well-watched, The Pianist. freaking gugujiao nice also. adrian brody's acting is rather zai onlys. and after watching it made me suddenly want to listen to classical music again

and of course got those lousy gay shits. like DeadOrAlive. meaningless shits. not feeling devon aoki at all. and curse of the golden flower. not exactly lousy, but too much breast already. supposed to be that most of the film have the color of yellow due to color of emperor and all the chrysanthemum and all, but actually most of it was pink, this rather disturbing flood of quivering pink of biblical proportions, too much breast is not good at all especially when you are doing duty in camp

sumone pls save me during the long goodfriday weekend. my organizer is so appalingly blank that i tot i stole blank rounds from camp AHHHHHHHAAA FUNNY LA

Thoughts Became Words At 9:05 PM