I think a lot. sometimes, there is a nudging pang in me, hinting to me that maybe, just perhaps, i am indeed thinking too much.
yes, upon hearing that blasphemous utterance, fanatical proponents of some revolutionary secret Descratesian movement would exclaim aloud in overpowering disbelief and vilifying vitriol, while emphasizing again the infallible, metaphysical rule that is "I think, therefore I am", so concomitant with the development of the human soul. Without processing the continuous intake of sensory input, one would be a sorry excuse of a human, some ersatz being of intelligence in some eternal state of the sedate.
yet i imperil myself by saying again that perhaps I am thinking too much. so many trains of thought are running, that Paul Theoreoux would throw away his Riding the Iron Rooster away in hapless surrender, for fear of widespread avian flu. i believe the subways and Tubes and Metros (Isetans) of the world are but a monomer in the gargantuan polymeric subway map of my mind.
it may be subconscious pride that I am declaring myself a Thinker, but please be safely assured that it is never on the turf of my conscious mind. indeed, it was great hubris that was the iconic trademark of tragic Greek heroes, the heights that enabled the falls, the flights that burned the wings, the smelly feet that had those vulnerable Heels.
on the ironic contrary, I am, as seen at the start of this pompous, self-satisfying masturbatory discourse, that I am actually quite ashamed and disgusted by this fact. one should not think so much. i think that (cheebye) there is power in the unthinking instinct, the inbuilt ability of the mind to choose the correct choice at the right time. the mindless, raging bull that destroys all the jade chopsticks and Tang Dynasty plates and condemned, recalled, poisonous Mattel plastic toys in a china shop (complete with cheap labor toiling at Nike shoes) is actually correct in its unthinking, the lack of Thinking Caps upon its head. Edward de Bono be damned, the bull is doing what is stereotypically expected of its species; it is achieving its preset goal. that is one characteristic of Highly Successful People/Animals. if it thought, it would have hesitated, and the china shop owners would have set their knives upon it, with some diluted oxtail soup with suspect additives as a result.
thus, as belonging to a masculine branch of human beings, we must follow whatever is expected of us. alas, heed the Neanderthal in all our us, follow the inner Top Dog, become the Alpha Male, be the grunting unthinking caveman bringing back Flame grilled Medium Rare Ribeye Steak of Sabre-toothed Tiger.
indeed, perhaps the above is just a rather extended and lengthy inquiry about my own sexual tendencies, for in the guilty sinful indulgence of excessive thinking, I have fallen from grace, becoming an outcast of the Masculine gender, some LiangShanBo heretic who is not male enough, some gay, tight clothing-donning Lucifer Morningstar walking with protruding buttocks and a dangling hand upon a loose feeble wrist
in conclusion,
I AM GAY
| Thoughts Became Words At 9:16 PM |
